Wasn't it just October? It's been 5 months since the ulgly mela-diagnosis. Wow. It's been too long since my last post. I have no real excuses - I'm not too too busy, but I guess I have lacked inspiration and ideas. I'm not feeling particularly inspired or "idea-full" today either, but I think it will all be okay.
I just used a neti-pot for the first time, thanks to the prompting of a few girlfriends this morning. Apparently you aren't supposed to use it if your nasal passage is completely blocked. Oops. Girls! Hopefully nothing nasty happens as a result of that little mistake. I will admit it was MUCH more convenient to use than the make-shift one I tried out last weekend using a funnel and my own saline solution. Today's didn't burn nearly as much.
Some of my singing friends and I are preparing music for a local women's retreat, and we're working on some quartets for Easter services in our city. S, T, and J - do you know that I love singing with you? Not just singing, either. You're cool if we're singing or not. :)
I have to write a resume? A what??? A resume? How do I write one of those? I've completely forgotten. I haven't written one since my final year in university, when I applied for three teaching positions. You may wonder why I would need a resume. Well, Jon and I have always been the "I want to go back to school someday" kind of couple, and this time in my life screams, "DO IT NOW! DO IT NOW!" It's true - I will never have a time like this again - my children go off to the day home, I am not working, and I'm still (sort of) getting paid. I am apparently only 4 credit hours away from moving up on the pay grid, so why the heck would I NOT move on this? Of course, each univeristy course is 3 credit hours, so I can't just take one course. I have chosen to take online courses through Acadia, my alma mater. Convenient. No transfer of transcripts. But I have to write a resume?
Anyway, I am registering for two graduate level courses, which would be enough to bump me up to 6 years on the pay scale (I'm currently at 5.875 and have been since May 1999). Another fun fact - I'm assuming (hoping?) that these graduate courses would also apply if I was to take my masters at some point as well. My hope is that I can work on these courses this spring and get them mostly done by the end of June. Wish me luck. The only thing standing in my way is wriitng this stupid resume. I don't even know where to start. Pointers? I guess I have to remember that I'm not applying for a job there; they just want to know my post-graduate work history. That won't take more than a sentence or two. If I'm this nervous about the resume, what state will I be in when asked to do my first assignment? (I'm kind of nerd, so I know I'll be fine. Plus I have an uber-articulate-nerd living with me for help when needed.)
Treatment is going well, I assume. I am certainly feeling like I am getting this drug rather than the placebo. I don't want to be stupid about it, so I'm not convincing myself of that, but I'm still fairly certain. I have little side effects (too personal to post about here) that are, at this point, very manageable. However manageable they are, they are consistent and have been present since the day after the first treatment. It's been a month. I have a hard time explaining these side effects any other way. So, that's cool.
Some of you have asked what treatment is like. Well, "it" is sort of spread across two days. On day one, I drive myself up and do paperwork, bloodwork, more paperwork, then meet with the clinical trial nurse and then my oncologist for a physical exam. Ideally, the results from my labwork should be available by the time I meet with the doctor (that's how they schedule it - an hour or more between), but that hasn't happened yet. I think the lab is, like most labs, slightly behind. I can't complain too much, though. They run a pretty tight ship up there, and I'm rarely kept waiting long.
On day two, Jon drives me up and drops me off (as per my request). I get a fun warm pack to put on my arm, then an iv is started, and I'm led to the bed/chair that I'll be in for the session. There are many of us in one room, so people-watching and visiting are often viable options to pass the time. After the nurse goes over the treatment with you (to make sure you know what you're getting and as another safety check to make sure there isn't a mix up), they hook up the machine. Normally it's a few minutes of saline first, then 90 minutes of the drug. They have to do vital signs before, during, and after the treatment, and since they won't do blood pressure on the arm with the iv, and I am not allowed to have it done on my left arm, they do blood pressure on my leg. Did you know that your blood pressure reads way higher on your leg? It freaked me out the first time. I'm normally a 105/65 girl, but on my legs it's more like 140 over... I can't remember. Something higher than 65. TOO HIGH. Apparently it's normal. Moving on - after the 90 minute infusion, they leave the iv in and start the 60 minute observation, just to make sure my body doesn't have an adverse reaction to the treatment. They take the iv out and I'm sent on my way. That's it. No biggie. I read, I visit, I text Jon, and then I'm done.
I am on a mission - to strive to keep my actions and attitude pleasing to God. Situations that frustrate and scare me, people who aggravate me, time that limits me.... all things that challenge my resolve. There are several things going on in life right now (little and big) that seem to want to engulf me in anger, bitterness, and even self-righteousness. (Don't worry, family - I am fine!) May God grant me the heart, words, and ears of a humble servant. Those of us who tend to be overly confident and overly confrontational find this to be a challenge indeed.
