Did you do your exercise today?

I have.  They are special exercises and they HURT.  But worth doing, apparently.

Surgery was a relatively smooth procedure.  For our first surgery one month ago, Dr. Dabbs was running almost an hour early, so it is only fair that we make up for that hour this time.  I was supposed to be at 12:40, and at 1:30 the porters were delivering me to the OR.  I do have to say (again) that I have REALLY been feeling the prayers of everyone who has taken time to pray for a good surgery and for peace of mind.  I am prone to anxiety - not necessarily anxiety that can be detected on the outside.  Just the kind that occupies my thoughts and dreams and steals my restful time.  I didn't have any of that.  On the drive into the city yesterday I just felt like I was heading out for coffee.  Lying on the table I simply enjoyed the sense of humour that belonged to my anaesthetist ("So we're working on your left pit today, eh?" and "Did she tell you about the hack who took 5 tries to get the iv in her last time?").  I was being protected by your prayers and I thank you all for it.  As I was going under I remember praying and thanking God for feeling so sheltered and grateful at a time I could have been scared, tense, and focused on myself.

Surgery took 2 hours, and I remember waking up in recovery at 4:00, then again at 4:30, and then again at 5:00.  I'm prety sure at this point I was being wheeled into my room (which was supposed to be shared but ended up being completely private - yay!) and Jon appeared.  So nice to see my handsome husband, but as much as I thought I was awake to be sociable with him, I kept falling back to sleep.  A delicious smelling supper of barbeque chicken was brought, and I couldn't muster up the energy to move towards it.  At about 7:00 I finally told Jon that he could go home as I wasn't going to be much company any time soon.  He made sure I had tv (which I also couldn't muster up the energy to watch until 4:00 am) to keep me occupied when I was awake in the dark.  By 6:30 the doctor's were making their rounds and were impressed with my recovery.  They said I could go home after breakfast with the idea that homecare could make sure things were healing properly for the rest of the week.  Jon was at the hospital by 9:00 and we were on the road shortly afterwards.  He even went out of his way on the drive home to pick up some lattes from Second Cup (my new favourite).  Try the dark chocolate... it's fantastic.

I had some stiffness after the last surgey.  I had been told to exercises, and I did, for about one week after surgery.  I was feeling great with very limited movement, so I stopped doing those exercises as normal life took over.  Oops.  Scar tissue knit together, forming a tight band so I couldn't straighten my arm out.  They cut through that "rope" this time, so I get to start fresh, WITH a sheet of instructions that I WILL follow.  These exercises are HARD.  Lifting my arm up feels like it would if I had a 50 pound weight tied to it.  But I shall press on.  Apparently it should get easier as I go??

The boys (mostly Owen) really seemed to notice that I was gone.  He didn't sleep well last night; he crawled into my side of the bed with Jon and whispered "Auntie Trish" a few times.  When mom brought the boys back from Bev's at 4:00 today, Owen came into the living room and just sat with me on the sofa for a while.  It was lovely.  I missed my boys.  Mom spent her time baking - butter tarts, sugar cookies, chocolate/peanut clusters... yummy.  Bless her!  She's also a good part of the way done the second stocking.  We were thinking that if she got two done before Christmas she'd be doing great.  She's only had the yarn since Monday and she's almost done the two already.

Seriously - I can not post without sharing my love for my family and friends.  Notes and letters, messages on facebook, meals, thoughts, travel mugs, snacks, flowers, gift baskets... You are all overwhelming me.  Your support means so much and ALWAYS puts a smile on my face and a prayer of gratitude in my heart. 

We were talking at church on Sunday with some great friends who reminded me of something I have told myself many times since this trial began.  God has chosen our family to experience this road for a reason.  It's a hard road.  He suffers with us and rejoices with us.  But because we have faith in His goodness, we know that He has a greater purpose in all of this.  Something great will come of this - and we may be fortunate enough to witness it, or maybe we won't in this lifetime.  But it's comforting nonetheless, isn't it?  Meanwhile, my dear Cindy reminded me of Psalm 91 and it's a perfect reminder of how God, the Creator of all things, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, is with us in the OR, in the recovery room, in our house as we struggle through painful exercises, and in our homes as we pray.   He is in this battle with us.  He gives us hope of victory in His name. 

9  If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
   and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
   no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
   you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
 ¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
   and show him my salvation.”

"Bye, Mrs. Friesen!"

Today was my last day of teaching for... well, who knows.  Maybe until March.  Maybe longer.  Anyway, it was a special day.  The kids made my heart smile today in many ways - from asking the question "Move if you think Mrs. Friesen is the BEST TEACHER EVER!" in a game of All-change, to handing me cards signed by the two language arts classes and even one signed by teachers.  I was very touched.  Oh - I was even given several notes and even a batch of cookies from students.  Parents - your children are so special. 

Tomorrow I will go in for my last day of work - a PD day to collaborate with current teachers and my replacements.  I am going to have to try to remember all of the little things throughout the day that they are expected to know and do.  Right.  I hope they are forgiving because I'm bound to forget something(s).

Mom wrapped more presents for me today and organized my pantry cupboard.  She is so good to me.  I think my next mission is to get my Christmas cards in the mail.  I'm so glad I had most of my shopping/card prep done before now.  I should be able to relax and enjoy holiday prep from the comfort of my couch and in the glow of the Christmas trees - inside and outside.  I'm actually really looking forward to it.  That might be strange.  For some reason (I'm fairly certain it has mostly to do with all of the prayer and support I've been receiving) I am feeling remarkably calm about the whole thing.  Even excited to be home.  I am throwing LOTS off kilter by leaving work like this, but I don't feel guilty or sad.  I will enjoy the pre-holiday time with my mom, and then CHristmas with our many family members, and then I will be happy to start treatment after I have healed.  There will be Christmas parties, church services, more browsing and shopping (even though I'm done because it's fun), mornings with tea and a fuzzy blanket, and of course, Christmas music and programs.  Christmas is my favourite time of year.  I am very ready to start enjoying it.

I did some pre-screening for my surgery on Tuesday - I will not know what time surgery will be until the day before, but I do know that I will be home on Wednesday if all goes well.  I will have a drain in my arm for a week or so afterwards, and I will be needing to do physio afterwards to maintain proper function of my left arm.  Honestly - I am not worried about it at all.  Now that they know to just put my IV in near my elbow joint instead of down nearer my wrist, I won't have to stress about how many times it will take them to get that sucker in.  I hate needles.  I'm fairly certain that there are others who dislike them more and end up fainting or something when they see them, but I just really hate them.  Not scared, just "blech".

In happier news, my house smells like a spruce tree.  (p.s. I have a fake tree.)  (p.p.s.  I have spruce-scented candles.)

Thanks for encouraging me to blog.  I am thinking that I need to treat this more like an outlet for my thoughts, rather than a journalling of my day-to-day activities.  I just think it will be easier to infuse my writing with personality when I don't feel like I'm listing off the things that have been accomplished each day.  Agree?

In the Spirit!

So, a trip to Camrose today was just the thing to kick-start the Christmas spirit in my house.  (Especially because most of my Christmas music was erased off of my computer earlier this fall and I've just made that grisly discovery.)

Mom and I took Owen to Camrose for the annual Festival of Trees.  I've never been, and I had imagined that William would be less likely to enjoy what they had to offer.  (I might have been wrong - he would have enjoyed much of it, but he would have missed his naps as well.)  We had a chance to walk through the vendor area and pick up some fun things, and then we met Cindy, Luke, and Jonas for some kid fun.  The boys decorated (and ate) their own cookies, pet bunnies, goats, guinea pigs, and wallabees at the petting zoo, got their faces painted, had pictures with Santa, and then made their own snowman craft.  We finished our trip with a visit to McD's for lunch.  It was a great day but I think we're all pooped.  (Owen didn't even get out of bed ONCE to announce that he had a "sticky in his nose" and Mom is sound asleep on the chair next to me.)

Lots of positive thinking today.  Hope to keep it that way.  And it doesn't hurt that Mom and I finished off the day with a hot glass of spiced apple cider.  Yum. 

Friday is a good day.

And I only worked two days - not even including parent/teacher interviews.  But I am tired and looking forward to the weekend.  I did enjoy my days.  It's a good reminder of why I became a teacher in the first place.  Kids make me smile - whether they are 3, 8, or 14.  Plus, I work with some great people and am privileged to be able to call them "friend".  I will work Tuesday and Thursday next week, and I'm thinking next Friday's PD day would be a good chance for me to collaborate with my replacement, providing they have one by then. 

Dr. Dabbs office called today with a surgery date - December 7th.  She wanted to operate 2 weeks after our last appointment, and the 7th is 2 weeks and 1 day.  Can't complain. 

Owen had a "better than good day", according to Bev, his childcare provider.  I loved hearing that!  Mom has been staying home with William for a few days and I think they are really getting to know each other.  Owen and Mom are bonding as well - Owen has been sleeping downstairs with Mom while Jon and I "retrain" William to sleep through the night.  He had been sick for more than a month, then fevers, a flu, a bout of teething, and more colds again, so we had gotten in the habit of reacting in the middle of the night when he called out for a drink or comfort.  That's fine, but now that he's not sick, he's still thinking he needs to have that drink (or more), and screams his little lungs out when we don't immediately respond.  Not needing Owen to wake up in the night, we decided (after Grammie offered) to let Owen sleep downstairs in the other bed.  So far, so great.  It's a great arrangement. 

I have such wonderful girlfriends.  They are such an encouragement to me. You know who you are.  :)

I think Mom and I will take Owen to Camrose tomorrow morning.  Apparently the Festival of Trees is happening, and Cindy is planning on taking her boys.  I've never been, but I've always been curious.  William can nap in the morning, giving Jon some time off.  It think it will be a great way to boost some Christmas "spirit".  I have nothing else to do BUT wait to be hit by the Christmas wave - I am done all my shopping!!  The last parcel arrived today.  Done before December.  That has to be a bit of a record.  Okay - maybe I'm not QUITE done.  Still have to get stocking stuffers...

Happy weekend!

Grammie!

The boys were thrilled to see their Grammie.  Mom and I walked over to pick up the kids from Bev's, and Owen was quite surprised to see his grandmother there (and probably me since it's been weeks since I've gone to pick them up).  It's been so great - Mom is already making headway with William - he's a little harder to reach.  He has always made me work a little harder to get a smile, and he plays the shy card once in a while, which is something Owen never really did.  Anyway, Owen even slept downstairs with Grammie (in another bed) last night and since I have yet to see him this morning, I assume all went well.  I am so happy to have Mom here.  You are all so right - having your mother around in troublesome times just brings a sense of "it's all going to be okay".  I would love to have Dad here as well, but we'll make sure he's involved as much as possible via Skype. 

We haven't heard from Dr. Dabbs' office yet regarding a surgery date, but I do have an appointment on Monday, so if I go back today and tomorrow, then if necessary, a few days next week, I should be ready to pass off my teaching assignment to someone else.  It's quite overwhelming, but I think I'll just have to step back and have very little to say about "how I do things" and just let my replacement go to it his/her own way.  Tough to do when a) I am a self-pronounced control freak, and b) that music/band program is my "baby" and it's success matters greatly to me.  I guess I will just go to work this morning and try to wrap my brain around not coming back for a while. 

I did go back to work today for the first time in weeks, and I'll head back tomorrow as well.  I have appointments on Monday (more stitches out) and Wednesday (CT scan), but I still do not have a surgery date.  Apparently they called today while I was at work, so I presume we will know more tomorrow when I return the call.  Work today was pretty good - I have the best coworkers.  They are encouraging, funny, helpful, and wise.  I was happy to receive the "MRS. FRIESEN!!!  You're back!!" comments from the kids - actual cheering and smiles and hugs from all ages.  It makes a woman feel good.  I love those kids.

William stayed home with Grammie today and they seemed to have had a good day.  William actually slept and ate, and at some point Mom managed to find time to take care of my floors.  It sure is going to be nice having her around.... for so many reasons. 

Another awesome verse from Isaiah:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  (41:10)

Starting Out

We are still reeling a bit from the news on Monday, but it's been awesome how much peace we have when it's needed.  It seems when one of us is feeling low (scared, doubtful, panicked), the other is in a different frame of mind - more trusting, more stable, and prepared to offer prayers and words of support.  And when the other isn't around, our family and friends have been offering the same.  Really - the words, songs, and scriptures you have shared on facebook, emails, and in person have been so uplifting.  Thank you!  We are so touched by your concern and generosity.

Meanwhile, most of our hours are filled with normalcy.  The boys don't know what's ahead, and that's great.  They continue with their antics:  Owen declaring what he would like to do and when, and sadly realizing that he doesn't get to have whatever he wants, and William constantly getting into things and learning the boundaries in our home.  William is definitely hands on - evident whenever he hears Jon and Owen wrestling on the floor of the living room.  He drops whatever he's doing and runs in to jump on the heap.  Owen still enjoys Thomas the Train, but he spends much more time downstairs creating and narrating stories with his tracks and engines than he does watching them on TV these days.  He also loves to read and we are bombarded with requests for the same two stories several times a day.  How fun it is to see their personalities blooming.  We are so fortunate to have such neat little men in our care.

I guess we are waiting to hear from the surgeon's office re: a surgery date for me.  She had said two weeks from this past Monday, so we are assuming surgery will be somewhere around the 5-12th of December.  I will have three weeks to recover from that, and in there I will be having a CT scan to check my body for more signs of metastasis, and I will be meeting Dr. Smiley, who will be henceforth known as my "drug guy".  I will likely start a drug treatment called "Intron" (which is Interferon Alpha 1) after surgery - perhaps in the new year.  The purpose of this drug is still a little unclear for me, but I assume it is meant to stop or prevent the growth of more tumours in my body, since the cancer is in my lymphatic system and is apt to travel around. 

It's a lot to take in!  I'm a young wife and mother and don't really feel like "someone like me" should be dealing with these things, but here we are.  God is proving to be faithful the more we look to Him, so we'll let Him be our Guide, and our Rest.  How thankful are we for families who raised us in a way that we had our faith foundation laid before the storm really began, and oh-so-thankful for a God who never changes, so we can rely on Him as we grow individually, in our marriage, and as a family. 

IN OTHER NEWS - I'm off to the airport to pick up my mother!  Her flight gets in in about an hour.  I know it's not really exciting circumstances, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to a great visit with her.  She is coming out for as long as we need her help - so through surgery, recovery, and perhaps some treatment.  We'll take it one day at a time - I know my Dad and other family at home need Mom as well.  I do know it gives them some peace to be able to help in some way.  Our families mean the world to us. 

Congratulations on making it through the first blog post!